How can coaching or psychotherapy help you as a Highly Sensitive Person [an HSP]?
If you have been drawn to this page and are thinking yes, I really recognise bits of myself here, then you also may be thinking how can coaching or therapy help me. I help many different HSP’s in many different ways. I work with adults, teenagers and younger children.
My approach can help with many difficulties and here are some of them:
Overwhelm – when you have so much information that you cant make a decision. You feel almost paralyzed and can’t think what to do next. Your life seems to have stopped. You are more sensitive than usual. Can’t cope. Can’t concentrate. You may be very emotional and feel that no one understands you.
Learning to communicate in a more relaxed way, learning to ask questions
Increasing self esteem and improving a low self image
Creating self control and self-leadership and letting go of controlling the world around you
Learning how to embrace and enjoy who you are
Managing: giving birth, hospital, dentist, parties, driving tests, exams, changing jobs, travelling, holidays, stress, sleeping, weight, phobias and fears
What does it mean to be a ‘Highly Sensitive Person’ [HSP]
You may have been described by some of the following words which can be accurate for HSP’s some of the time but by no means describes who you are. Those using these words may be applying them to a particular behaviour that they are observing at any one time but the description is certainly not who you are… So here we go… you may be described as shy, odd, timid, sensitive, over sensitive, off the scale sensitive, a wuss, wimpy, nervous, needy, a child [when you’re not], scared, introverted, quiet, queer, gay.
There are many other words that also describe you that others do not observe because they get fixed on a particular negative aspect of your behaviour… These positives are… loyal, hugely observant, emotionally intelligent, bright, clever, always strive for perfection, like to do things well, interested and interesting, creative, imaginative, you have a wide vision and by that I mean you can take a situation and see where it could go and what could happen. You have an awareness of yourself and others and there are very few times when you actually stop thinking and get peace inside of your head!
The benefits and the difficulties
Being an HSP seems to be a blessing and a curse, one of my daughters said recently “My sensitivity helps me so much and yet sometimes I wish someone would just turn it off, it’s too much and I want to run away from myself.” An on – off button would be great, wouldn’t it, to be able to relax, just let go, clear your head and if nothing else sleep soundly?… well there are ways of doing this and it doesn’t need to be someone outside of you, you can be the person who manages it, controls it, uses it in the way you want, controls the on and off button.
I often say when I am working with individuals or groups that we go to school and learn lots of interesting subjects but no one teaches us how to think do they? We just assume that our thinking looks after itself and we have to have the results of that thinking. Well, I have news for you, YOU are in control of your thinking and YOU can take control and as an HSP it’s so important to learn how to do that ……
Here is an exercise that may help you…
Just try this small step with me now…. Notice how you feel at this moment… on a scale of 1 – 10 where 1 is peaceful and 10 is anxious where would you rate yourself right now? OK, sit down and fix your eyes on a spot in front of you, slightly higher than looking straight ahead and a position that keeps your neck comfortable. Keep looking at that spot and at the same time expand your vision, begin to notice that although you are keeping your eyes on that spot you can also notice what is to the right of you and the left of you and continue to expand your field of vision to the sides, whilst keeping your eyes fixed on that spot, until you can almost ‘see’ what is behind you. NOW PRACTISE THIS, GOT IT? OK NOW ON TO THE NEXT BIT, ADD THIS BREATHING………………….. At the same time begin to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, the out breath being twice as long as the in breath. This means that you breathe out slowly, really slowly and blow the air out of your lungs, slowly. As you keep your vision on that spot and also notice that you are expanding your vision either side and breathing in through your nose and out slowly through your mouth notice what is happening on the inside of you? Whats happening to your body, your head, now rate yourself again on the scale of 1 – 10 and see how different you feel.